Universal Hourglass (Oct 18th 2009)
Why am I here?
Sat in this wretched cesspit,
That people call a city,
Craving the warm sun,
Over gun metal gray sky scrapers,
When can I leave?
This awful smog filled air,
And choked stench-filled water,
Longing for a bird to sing,
Instead of pick at road kill,
Where could I go?
Somewhere green and placid,
Where I can smell fresh grass,
Not backed up sewers and rot,
But clippings of natures gifts,
What can I do?
Stuck in this rut of putrid mass,
Body yearning to pick wild flower,
Not see wilting weeds,
Poking through cracked concrete,
Who am I?
But one single speck of sand,
In a universal hour glass,
A multitude of questions,
Just begging for an answer.
Sat in this wretched cesspit,
That people call a city,
Craving the warm sun,
Over gun metal gray sky scrapers,
When can I leave?
This awful smog filled air,
And choked stench-filled water,
Longing for a bird to sing,
Instead of pick at road kill,
Where could I go?
Somewhere green and placid,
Where I can smell fresh grass,
Not backed up sewers and rot,
But clippings of natures gifts,
What can I do?
Stuck in this rut of putrid mass,
Body yearning to pick wild flower,
Not see wilting weeds,
Poking through cracked concrete,
Who am I?
But one single speck of sand,
In a universal hour glass,
A multitude of questions,
Just begging for an answer.
Forbidden (17th Oct 2009)
A kiss so sweet,
My forbidden fruit,
Your sugariness drips from my lips,
A touch so soft,
My forbidden fruit,
The feeling lingers after you're gone,
A smile so warm,
My forbidden fruit,
It lights me up from inside out,
A love so off limits,
My forbidden fruit,
We are each others biggest mistake.
My forbidden fruit,
Your sugariness drips from my lips,
A touch so soft,
My forbidden fruit,
The feeling lingers after you're gone,
A smile so warm,
My forbidden fruit,
It lights me up from inside out,
A love so off limits,
My forbidden fruit,
We are each others biggest mistake.
Goodbye (Oct 17th 2009)
Inward creeps the darkness,
Filling up my mind,
Darkest thoughts and madness,
No light of any kind.
All that's left is terror,
It's taking over me,
Blackest nights of horror,
'Til I can hardly see.
Nothing left to save me,
No angels on the breeze,
This depression haunts me,
And brings me to my knees,
I feel my senses dying,
My thoughts they waver too,
What's the use in crying?
This suicide's for you.
Goodbye.
Filling up my mind,
Darkest thoughts and madness,
No light of any kind.
All that's left is terror,
It's taking over me,
Blackest nights of horror,
'Til I can hardly see.
Nothing left to save me,
No angels on the breeze,
This depression haunts me,
And brings me to my knees,
I feel my senses dying,
My thoughts they waver too,
What's the use in crying?
This suicide's for you.
Goodbye.
Gutter (Oct 13th 2009)
One glass, two glasses, twelve, who's counting?
Dizzy my head and numb it all out,
Can't see straight and all I can feel is sickness,
All that alcohol churning, burning,
Throw some up and replace it again,
Bright lights, loud music, slumped on the floor,
Haul yourself up and drink some more,
Dirty and drunken I think I can dance,
I close my eyes and feel the room spin,
I hear voices like they're underwater,
My legs feel like jelly and my throat like gravel,
Carry on, carry on, another drink from the bar,
Can't control what I do or say,
Another fight with someone,
Into the bathroom,
No one to hold my hair,
They don't want to be seen with me,
Not in this state,
Fall asleep with my head in the toilet,
Bouncer kicks me awake at closing time,
I crawl out into the street,
Still drunk,
Gutter.
Dizzy my head and numb it all out,
Can't see straight and all I can feel is sickness,
All that alcohol churning, burning,
Throw some up and replace it again,
Bright lights, loud music, slumped on the floor,
Haul yourself up and drink some more,
Dirty and drunken I think I can dance,
I close my eyes and feel the room spin,
I hear voices like they're underwater,
My legs feel like jelly and my throat like gravel,
Carry on, carry on, another drink from the bar,
Can't control what I do or say,
Another fight with someone,
Into the bathroom,
No one to hold my hair,
They don't want to be seen with me,
Not in this state,
Fall asleep with my head in the toilet,
Bouncer kicks me awake at closing time,
I crawl out into the street,
Still drunk,
Gutter.
Runaway (March 5th 2008)
Hair matted
Clothes tattered
She drags her tired feet
Nobody noticed when she walked out of the door
Nobody cares that she sleeps on the floor
There's no where to go when the nights turn bad
No one to turn to when she gets real sad
She fends for herself alone on the streets
She hates her life and the people she meets
They think she's a Pro or taking drugs
But she's running away from a life of no hugs
Never a bit of love has she known
Never an emotion has she shown
She sits in her spot with a hat on the floor
Begging for money, then begging some more
A thought crosses her weary mind
A thought of the not very nice kind
A life of abuse, pain and torment
Replaced by a life of fear and resent
She walks to the bridge with fast paced water
And thinks of her life as no one's daughter
She plunges her body over the side
Splashing about, there's nowhere to hide
It took three days for her body to be found
That teenage runaway dead on the ground
Her body washed up with a crack in her head
That teenage runaway's another one dead
Hair matted
Clothes tattered
Under the coroner's sheet
Clothes tattered
She drags her tired feet
Nobody noticed when she walked out of the door
Nobody cares that she sleeps on the floor
There's no where to go when the nights turn bad
No one to turn to when she gets real sad
She fends for herself alone on the streets
She hates her life and the people she meets
They think she's a Pro or taking drugs
But she's running away from a life of no hugs
Never a bit of love has she known
Never an emotion has she shown
She sits in her spot with a hat on the floor
Begging for money, then begging some more
A thought crosses her weary mind
A thought of the not very nice kind
A life of abuse, pain and torment
Replaced by a life of fear and resent
She walks to the bridge with fast paced water
And thinks of her life as no one's daughter
She plunges her body over the side
Splashing about, there's nowhere to hide
It took three days for her body to be found
That teenage runaway dead on the ground
Her body washed up with a crack in her head
That teenage runaway's another one dead
Hair matted
Clothes tattered
Under the coroner's sheet
Natural Innocence (March 5th 2008)
Innocence is a child's nature
So pure and true to life
But as the child grows up
It is replaced by strife
The child's field of innocence
Is a desert of vast sands
But to try and keep it that way
Is like holding water in your hands
All those innocent thoughts
That used to cloud my mind
Are gone to the wind now I am grown
And now I can't seem to find
The butterflies and ladybugs
The flowers pink and white
The people I've lost and tears I've seen
Along my lifelong plight
And then there was the growing up
And how much I got lost
It seems the summer of my youth
Has turned to adult frost
There's no innocence in adulthood
It's long buried and dead
But the beauty in a child
Makes tears fill my head
Still I look at children
Cupping handfuls of water
And feel sad that one day
There'll be no innocence in my daughter
So pure and true to life
But as the child grows up
It is replaced by strife
The child's field of innocence
Is a desert of vast sands
But to try and keep it that way
Is like holding water in your hands
All those innocent thoughts
That used to cloud my mind
Are gone to the wind now I am grown
And now I can't seem to find
The butterflies and ladybugs
The flowers pink and white
The people I've lost and tears I've seen
Along my lifelong plight
And then there was the growing up
And how much I got lost
It seems the summer of my youth
Has turned to adult frost
There's no innocence in adulthood
It's long buried and dead
But the beauty in a child
Makes tears fill my head
Still I look at children
Cupping handfuls of water
And feel sad that one day
There'll be no innocence in my daughter
Am I Too Lost To Be Saved? (Nov 15th 2007)
On my knees in blood so dark,
My hands together in prayer,
Blood drips down my wounded wrists,
The pain I cannot bear,
I feel my life slipping away,
My lips are turning blue,
The band I tied around my arm,
Has loosened on right on cue,
The blood it runs down faster now,
I hear it dripping to the floor,
I hear the lock turn and look around,
As you burst through the door,
I scream and shout aloud,
Trying to hide the blood,
With my last strength I say "Sorry.",
But I know it'll do no good,
I wake up in a room so white,
It hurts my fragile eyes,
I look down at my bandaged wrists,
And my healed but 'old' scarred thighs,
You look at me and shake your head,
Preparing to leave the room,
I hang my head and mumble,
Soaking up the gloom,
"There's nothing I can do."
You say with a sorrowful sigh,
"We saved your life, that is true.
But it's you who wanted to die."
"I'm sorry." I repeat,
Over and over again,
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
I couldn't stand the pain."
"I can't save you now."
You say to me as you shut the door,
I try to follow but I'm still weak,
And I fall straight to the floor,
The men in white come in the room,
They tie my to the bed,
They shove a needle in one vein,
That messes up my head,
And I smile as I float,
In my world now free of strife,
Drugs I think, is all it takes,
To fix a broken life.
My hands together in prayer,
Blood drips down my wounded wrists,
The pain I cannot bear,
I feel my life slipping away,
My lips are turning blue,
The band I tied around my arm,
Has loosened on right on cue,
The blood it runs down faster now,
I hear it dripping to the floor,
I hear the lock turn and look around,
As you burst through the door,
I scream and shout aloud,
Trying to hide the blood,
With my last strength I say "Sorry.",
But I know it'll do no good,
I wake up in a room so white,
It hurts my fragile eyes,
I look down at my bandaged wrists,
And my healed but 'old' scarred thighs,
You look at me and shake your head,
Preparing to leave the room,
I hang my head and mumble,
Soaking up the gloom,
"There's nothing I can do."
You say with a sorrowful sigh,
"We saved your life, that is true.
But it's you who wanted to die."
"I'm sorry." I repeat,
Over and over again,
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
I couldn't stand the pain."
"I can't save you now."
You say to me as you shut the door,
I try to follow but I'm still weak,
And I fall straight to the floor,
The men in white come in the room,
They tie my to the bed,
They shove a needle in one vein,
That messes up my head,
And I smile as I float,
In my world now free of strife,
Drugs I think, is all it takes,
To fix a broken life.
Blinded (Nov 9th 2007)
There’s a girl I know well in that corner,
Her whole life’s in a spin,
And the more she thinks, the more she knows,
That she can never win.
The time in the hourglass running low,
She cries her way through the day,
Her eyes swelled shut from tears,
There’s nothing anyone can do or say.
Every road’s a one way street,
To being the perfect Daughter,
Every narrow path she seems to take,
A dead end, leading to the slaughter.
Nothing matters much these days,
What passion there was is gone,
The light behind her eyes has faded,
Stained and blinded by what once shone.
Her mouth a constant downward frown,
Her face a shadow of it’s former smile,
Not that it really should bother you,
You won’t remember her in a while.
She’s slowly disappearing,
But no one cares to see,
Her talent’s crushed ‘neath all her faults,
Look closely, that girl is me.
Her whole life’s in a spin,
And the more she thinks, the more she knows,
That she can never win.
The time in the hourglass running low,
She cries her way through the day,
Her eyes swelled shut from tears,
There’s nothing anyone can do or say.
Every road’s a one way street,
To being the perfect Daughter,
Every narrow path she seems to take,
A dead end, leading to the slaughter.
Nothing matters much these days,
What passion there was is gone,
The light behind her eyes has faded,
Stained and blinded by what once shone.
Her mouth a constant downward frown,
Her face a shadow of it’s former smile,
Not that it really should bother you,
You won’t remember her in a while.
She’s slowly disappearing,
But no one cares to see,
Her talent’s crushed ‘neath all her faults,
Look closely, that girl is me.
Normality, Perfection, Innocence (Nov 9th 2007)
Normality, perfection, innocence
Things that don’t exist
The three of these can't be seen
All three of them I twist
Normal is in the eyes
Of the one that sees
Normal to one is foreign to another
And nobody agrees
Normal is how you perceive
The ‘common’ of this place
But common is a bad thing isn’t it?
So cut off your nose to spite your face
Perfect is seen as the epitome
That no one has achieved
If someone did I have no doubt
Their family’d be bereaved
That perfect one would be a threat
No one likes ‘goody two shoes’
The epitome would be shot down dead
Cause the ‘normal’ would blow a fuse
Innocence so sweet and mild
Should lay lurking in the sand
But nil are born as innocent
They’re stripped of it as they land
For a child to be born innocent
Would require a sterile room
Without the filth or words of adults
That sends innocence to doom
So there you have my full analysis
On the matter of our kind
And the three things we strive for
That don’t exist ‘cause we’re blind
Things that don’t exist
The three of these can't be seen
All three of them I twist
Normal is in the eyes
Of the one that sees
Normal to one is foreign to another
And nobody agrees
Normal is how you perceive
The ‘common’ of this place
But common is a bad thing isn’t it?
So cut off your nose to spite your face
Perfect is seen as the epitome
That no one has achieved
If someone did I have no doubt
Their family’d be bereaved
That perfect one would be a threat
No one likes ‘goody two shoes’
The epitome would be shot down dead
Cause the ‘normal’ would blow a fuse
Innocence so sweet and mild
Should lay lurking in the sand
But nil are born as innocent
They’re stripped of it as they land
For a child to be born innocent
Would require a sterile room
Without the filth or words of adults
That sends innocence to doom
So there you have my full analysis
On the matter of our kind
And the three things we strive for
That don’t exist ‘cause we’re blind
New Moon Sky (Oct 12th 2006)
Dark as night and silent as death,
New Moon sky, can't find breath,
Burn me up and char my soul,
Deep my pain, colour of coal,
Bleeding ink across the ground,
Laid bare to die, I won't be found,
I've told them all to cremate me,
Scatter my ash, let me free,
Fear of darkness, eternal wrath,
Hematite stone, wrong chosen path,
Apache tears fall from my eyes,
Not a soul to hear my cries,
Burn in hell, there is no flame,
Only the reaper, never be home again.
New Moon sky, can't find breath,
Burn me up and char my soul,
Deep my pain, colour of coal,
Bleeding ink across the ground,
Laid bare to die, I won't be found,
I've told them all to cremate me,
Scatter my ash, let me free,
Fear of darkness, eternal wrath,
Hematite stone, wrong chosen path,
Apache tears fall from my eyes,
Not a soul to hear my cries,
Burn in hell, there is no flame,
Only the reaper, never be home again.
